To The Teenager Lost In Their 20's
Post 43 - You have nothing to prove to anyone, but you have a life to live for yourself.
Who am I writing this for? My past self or my future self? I’m not sure, maybe both.
The world we live in riddled with survivorship bias. All that we seem to hear and see are success stories of young minds that are making millions by building their own companies, changing the world, so on and so forth. The idea of the average person is seriously skewed.
Everyone seems to be doing well, and of course, they do, because that’s all they show you— the best parts of themselves. If you don’t have a purpose, good healthy relationships, six figures in your bank account, a pimped-out ride, and a marriage planned within the next two years, you’re a loser, or so it seems because that’s the narrative you have been fed.
However, if you take a step back and consider the base rate— the number of people actually in their 20’s that are doing whatever it is to get by you realize that these top 1% are just that— the top 1%. You’re part of the 99% of the 20’s something that feels like everyone is ahead of you, but guess what so does every other person, even the top 1%.
We don’t rate our well-being in absolutes. We rate it relative to the people around us. This is a quirk that is deeply embedded in us and of course, there is nothing destructive about it when we live in small, tight-knit tribes, but what happens when we have access to 2 billion people with a couple of taps on a screen?
The social comparison shifts from your neighborhood Joe to these swing traders making mad bank. You’ve suddenly gone from living a decent lifestyle to being six figures poorer than Tyler the finance influencer.
Here’s what I’ve come to realize— if you’re in your 20’s your life is just getting started. Nobody expects you to have a purpose, good healthy relationships, six figures in your bank account, a pimped-out ride, and a marriage planned within the next two years except yourself.
What advice would you give to someone who’s a toddler? You let them play, explore and learn. Nobody has life figured out. We all learn every day so why are you being so hard on yourself?
If you’re reading this right now, chances are you have everything that you could want in life, but you always feel like you need more because we don’t acknowledge our privilege. Your needs are met, you’re safe, you have a family, it could be a lot worse and it is for a lot of people. You are not a victim of your circumstances, you are a victim of your choice.
So, here’s what I suggest you do—spend your 20’s like a baby— explore the world and yourself, find out what you enjoy and what you don’t. Get a job, earn some money, pick up a little bit of responsibility of saving some of it, potentially lose it all buying the next 3 parts of the Dune series. Get out of your room, meet people, go on that trek you’ve been dreaming of as a kid, click photos of the night sky and post in on Instagram, do it all.
You have nothing to prove to anyone, but you have a life to live for yourself. You’re going to be ok. Pick a situation that seemed impossible to navigate through, a situation where your life was falling apart, you made it through.
Everything is ok. Everything will be ok. You’re going to be ok.
Hello, I’m going to be taking a week off from this. I’ve got a few things to catch up on such as a trek that I’m going on this weekend. I will be back soon. Until then, goodbye.