Alright, after the whole rant, here we are.
In this post, I’m gonna leave you with a couple of things that should help with your PMO addiction.
I urge you to try all this diligently.
It’s not an easy 4-step guide to break out of this addiction. It’s so much more than that.
It’s going to be boring. But, I genuinely want you to not be a degenerate.
So, consider all this with an open mind.
Read till the end, apply all of it, and fail forward.
You’re better than this.
Let’s get into it—
#1 Owning Your Mind
Understand that you are the result of your habits, decisions, and mindset.
Of course, there’s also a huge factor of genetics and circumstances.
But, we should strive to focus on things we can control.
So, in a nutshell,
Things we can control + Things we cannot control = You today.
(Habits + Decisions + Mindset) + (Genetics + Circumstances) = You today.
Let’s talk about the things we can control—
For the most part, who you are is a mixed bag of your mindset, decisions, and habits.
If you are in a good place, you have good habits, and are improving and failing forward every day, good job!
You can pat yourself on the back because you did that, not anyone else.
What if you’re in a bad place?
What if you have crippling addictions and negative pattern loops?
What if you live a shitty, miserable life?
All you, my guy.
“But, what about my family? They treat me like shit.”
Congratulations, you just found negative pattern #1.
Take extreme ownership of your life. If you give your family that form of power, you will forever be a slave to them.
If you give power to porn and social media by saying shit like “It’s too addictive. Fuck those guys that try to prey on people like me,” it’s your fault.
Stop being a victim. Assume extreme responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life.
Your family treats you the way you want them to treat you.
Your relationship with porn is how you want it to be.
It doesn’t take much to turn your life around.
But, understand that if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re FUCKING STUPID to expect any different.
Your habits have to change, and so do your decisions.
But, it all starts with your mindset.
If there is one thing I wish you take away from this let it be this—
Action Step 1 — Fix Your Mindset
I hate to break it to you— the narrative you are playing to yourself in your head is your worst enemy.
The way you look at porn and masturbation is what’s making you relapse over and over.
Everything else is a result of this string of narratives you play.
Recognize that you have all the power in the world, but the only thing stopping you from growing is your own mind.
Old behaviors repeat because you have decided that’s who you are.
Focus all your energy on catching yourself doing that.
Focus all your energy on catching your self-limiting beliefs.
Once you realize what they are, break them.
Catch them every time they show up, and choose a different course of action.
I’ll be honest, I can’t give you any more advice on this, because this is a very personal journey.
It’s all you when it comes to this.
But, how you look at yourself and the world, plays out repeatedly.
How you do this, is up to you.
Find people who hold you to a higher standard.
Read up on building a new identity and apply it.
Or, get therapy if some patterns are deeply ingrained.
Do whatever you have to.
Action Step 2 — Connect The Dots
Close your eyes for a couple of minutes and picture what your ideal future self would look like in 5 years.
No, really do this.
If you still haven’t your momma gay.
Would this ideal self of yours still be masturbating 3 times a day in your crusty-ass bedroom?
I hope not.
But, you do understand that the ideal self you are gunning for, is the result of your actions today right?
If you haven’t already stopped watching porn, chances are you won’t do it tomorrow, or even 5 years from now.
We have one day to make the change we want to see in our lives— today.
Tomorrow is an illusion. Because soon it becomes a today, and the same old patterns repeat.
If you are not embodying your future ideal self today, you will never get there.
So, sit down for an hour today, and write (Actually journal on this) what the best possible version of you would be like.
Journal on each of these topics for 5 minutes:
What your body would be like
What your mental health would be like
What would your career look like
What would your financial status be like
Social life
Friends
Hobbies
Partner/Sexual relationships
What would your ideal day look like
Go crazy with this.
Once you’re done, look back at the activities you did today.
Do they reflect an accurate trajectory to where you want to go?
If not, then it’s time to make some changes.
Decide what habits and actions you can start doing, to move in the right direction.
It could be working out, working on your passion projects, or anything you deem is correct.
This is the other banana you’re giving your monkey brain as I mentioned yesterday.
It needs something else to be busy with to get your mind off your vices.
Once, you’ve done all this, we do the opposite.
Motivation to take action doesn’t just come from striving for heaven, but also running from hell.
Take the same prompts as above, and journal on how you could turn out to be the worst version of yourself.
How shitty would your physical and mental health be?
Would you even have friends?
Would your family even love you?
Would women even look at you?
Try connecting the dots of patterns and habits you have now to this future.
Write about how what you’re doing today will snowball into this grim future.
This is what you’re going to run from.
All the bad habits you have today will remain, if not get stronger if you don’t quit.
Saying I’ll do it tomorrow is what you’ve always said.
Have things changed?
No. So, start today.
And, like I mentioned yesterday, the primary goal in your life shouldn’t be to ‘not watch porn.’
Your brain only pictures watching porn if you obsess over that.
Give it a better ideal to strive for, a better banana, a better future.
Being free of porn then becomes a by-product.
It comes naturally.
Action Step 3 — Fix Your Trauma
Addiction and dependency are often a by-product of something subconsciously fucked up.
A couple of months back, I was addicted to a bunch of things.
But, weed was what I struggled the most with.
I was popping 2 edibles (Went up to 5 on some days) a day, every day.
I didn’t understand why I was compulsively doing it.
Until I tried something known as “Inner child meditation.”
We all have remnants of our childhood selves in us still.
And, your younger self lives through you in certain ways.
Mine turned out to be through seeking comfort, warmth, and a feminine touch.
As a child, I wish I was held more by my mom, I wish I was hugged more, and given more love.
Into adulthood turned into patterns of seeking the feminine.
Validation from women, pleasure, comfort, warmth, I chased it all.
Weed, it turns out, is a very feminine substance.
I shit you not when I say that weed used to feel like a warm blanket and a hug to me.
Once I recognized that I built a better relationship with my mother and learned to love myself.
I also included healthier feminine outlets.
Patterns of binge eating, addictions, and seeking validation all stopped, almost overnight.
So, find out what this is for you.
Try inner child meditation.
Because chances are there is a small kid inside of you that needs hearing and loving.
Go get therapy, and talk to someone.
Be a “man” when it actually matters like taking responsibility, not while opening up to someone.
#2 Best Practices
Finally, we’re at the part that you came for.
There is nothing I have for you.
It’s a personal journey from here on out.
Cold showers on their own don’t help.
App and porn blockers don’t help.
These act as band-aids over a severed hand, they don’t help unless you fix the underlying issue.
These best practices emerge through your own journey.
And, it’s different for all of us.
If we all worked and ticked in the same way, we wouldn’t have the diversity we see today, would we?
If there’s one thing on this I will say, it’s this—
Stop counting the days you’ve not jacked off.
Enough with the streaks.
Relapsing one day after you’ve gone 14 days is still progress. You don’t lose any extra benefits of day 30.
There are no magical benefits. So, stop attaching so much value to streaks and so much shame to relapsing.
It’s part of the process.
Failing meant whatever you tried didn’t work as well.
Tweak your plan and move on.
You are succeeding as long you don’t quit and fail forward.
Let me be the first one to tell you if you haven’t already—
YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS.
You deserve to be with somebody who loves you and who you can share sexual gratification with.
So, stop using your goddamn hand.
And, another thing—
Stop wasting your vitality. Your sexual energy is your vitality.
Transmute these urges to build something, to be someone.
Tap into this primal instinct and aggression.
Breathe into your belly whenever you feel horny.
That discomfort and living with it creates warriors.
All that energy wanting to burst out would be a waste if it landed in a tissue.
I hope you find the help that you need.
I hope you break out of this addiction.
I believe that you will.
You’re worth so much more than this, and I know you think so too.
So, start acting like it.
Great read!