This post was inspired by a conversation with Frank and Abhishek.
A large amount of healthy middle ground in my life has been found through dealing with extremes. Polarization of ideas, habits, and philosophies gives profound insight into where I stand on the spectrum of said idea, habit, or philosophy. I’ve learned to love stronger than ever once I lost people very dear to my heart, I’ve learned a comfortable pace with which I can approach my fitness goals by two extremes— working out and obsessing over fitness 8 hours a day and not working out at all.
Let me give you a few examples—
As I’ve spoken about my problems with PMO, a couple of posts back, I decided to quit porn and masturbation completely. I went cold turkey. This was something that I did almost every day for over 8 years and even though quitting wasn’t easy, I did it to test a few things— to try to find a middle ground, a healthy amount for me to partake in. I’m a good while in and I’ve begun getting clarity into these questions for myself.
Another instance would be when I tried my 36-hour fast. I jumped into the challenge assuming that it was going to be a painful experience that I have to overcome. However, I came out of that experience with a completely different understanding of hunger, sustenance, and my relationship with food. I’ve dropped my consumption of snacks by about 90% since then.
Another example that jumps to mind is with getting stuff done. I’ve always wanted to write consistently and put out my work. I gave myself the time and freedom to write one blog post a week. That used to end up in pushing it to the last day of the week and then eventually scrapping the idea I wanted to work on. So, I decided to bite the bullet and commit to this 100 day writing challenge. That instantly removed any form of perfectionism which led to procrastination. And I’ve found this pace of writing daily to be extremely refreshing. I have a very short span of attention and interest when it comes to ideas and writing about one idea a day and moving on to something new the next day is incredibly helpful.
The point I’m trying to make here is this— If you’re considering a change or facing a paradox of choices relating to one area of your life— deal with the extremes. It’s the principle of Yin-Yang. There’s room for a bit of the opposite extreme to be a part of the other extreme.
This applies to ideas that you may have— If you consider yourself to be a left-leaning liberal, expose yourself to ideas and policies of the right-leaning figures. Maybe you’ll figure out something about yourself through the experience, your stance on certain topics could shift, or maybe you’ll come out of it with a greater appreciation for liberals as well as conservatives.
If you think you talk too much and overshare, stop talking for a week to the degree that is possible and be mindful of when you truly feel the need to share something. Hopefully, you find a middle ground that you are happy with.
Experiment with the extremes, beat the crap out of cognitive dissonance, and find a healthy middle ground.